


Wandering Souls

by caramelhollstein, cassiekarnstein, EdrickSnowHuh, P0tat0witheyes



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types, Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Character Death, Cuddling, DON'T READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 21, Dank Memes, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, M/M, Minions, More Fluff, Multi, Not for children, Other, PG, Smut, Teasing, hardcore smut, minions again, snuggles, super fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-11 23:25:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4456529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelhollstein/pseuds/caramelhollstein, https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiekarnstein/pseuds/cassiekarnstein, https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdrickSnowHuh/pseuds/EdrickSnowHuh, https://archiveofourown.org/users/P0tat0witheyes/pseuds/P0tat0witheyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla has an exciting day out whilst making new friends. Fishing is her new hobby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fun Day at the Lake!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Latchingontoyou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latchingontoyou/gifts), [Carmilla_Hollis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmilla_Hollis/gifts), [hurtleturtle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurtleturtle/gifts), [Marzos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marzos/gifts), [Cysteine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cysteine/gifts).



> we worked really hard on this! it's co-written, took us a while and we're really excited for you guys to read it! please let us know what you think in the comments, thank you!

Carmilla was fishing out on the pier side with Kirsch and Perry, they were the best of friends. All of a sudden, there was a mighty crash as LaFontaine (who teleported there to stalk perry) shoved Carmilla into the fish ridden waters. They laughed and pointed at her frustration at being a now damp kitty. Kirsch pulled out a stick from behind him and hit Lafontaine in the head exclaiming,

“Hey, that’s not cool bro.” as they fell to the floor bleeding. Laura then also teleported onto Carmilla’s shoulders because yolo amirite ladies? And Carmilla fell in the water again, now being a truly soaked kitty. Her clothes were truly ruined now if they hadn't been before.

“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS YOU FUCKING SHIT FACE BITCH?” Carmilla yelled at Laura who was now next to hear floating in the dirty lake water. Laura started to cry into her hands saying ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again. Carmilla hugged her and then Laura started laughing and stabbed her in the back. With a pencil.

“Get it? It’s like Rachel from Orphan Black?” Laura started to laugh some more at the confused face on the wet kitten in front of her. Carmilla shook her head and chuckled.

She then decided to remove the pencil from the newly formed pencil orifice in her back and stabbed Laura right back with it. Laura yelped in pain while Kirsch, Perry and LaFontaine stood wondering how the fuck they managed to tread water for so long. They then noticed they were stood on a weirdly huge anglerfish. The anglerfish started to move swimming forward frantically, Carmilla and Laura fell from the back of the anglerfish right into it’s wide open mouth. The anglerfish closed its toothy mouth and continued sleeping like before, Perry started to swear.

“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS YOU FUCKING SHIT FACE BITCH?” She repeated Carmilla’s own words at the gigantic fish. Lafontaine, was surprised. And weirdly aroused.

Back inside the anglerfish, Carmilla had started a tea party with her big sis Mattie, who was a rapper going by the name “Madskillz Belmonde” and her mother “Deanykins” who she found living in the fish. Apparently they got swallowed when Mattie (whose animal thing was a seagull) was floating on the water and got eaten. They started to rap, Madskillz went first.

“Yo, my name is Mattie, I really like fish patties,

This is my sis Carmilla, her favourite animal is a chincilla,

She has a tiny girlfriend named Laura, who I think is a bit of a borer,

This is our mum the Dean, she’s really fucking mean, why the fuck is this fish stomach so clean, who knows?”

All of a sudden Carmilla start beatboxing to Mattie’s rap.

“boobs and cats and boobs and cats and boobs and boobs and cats and shizzzzzzzzle mmmmm brrrrrhhh zz  zzzz iliketits especiallylauras zzzzzzzdbob boobs and cats and boobs ands cats and boobs and cats”

Laura scolded Carmilla’s inappropriate lyrics and also for interrupting Matties sick barz.

Meanwhile Perry and LaFontaine had got married and adopted like 6 kids or something and Danny was jealous and stabbed Kirsch by accident but its cool because he lived and shit.

Then they all moved into the anglerfish because they saw disco lights coming through its eyeballs. When they entered Carmilla, Mattie and the Dean were putting on a concert whilst Laura was headbanging and doing the naenae. Kirsch, whilst holding onto his stab wound, started dancing and Danny looked very disappointed in him. Carmilla started to sing her favorite song with her family ‘Smell Yo Dick’ it was beautiful. Laura teared up.

“Why you coming home at 5 in the morn,

Something’s going on,

Gotta smell yo dick!” Mattie, Carmilla and the Dean sang.

The harmonizations brought Lafontaine, Perry and their 6 children to tears. Lafontaine set it as their ringtone. Out of nowhere Laura’s mother came in a started singing along to the song with everyone, it was beautiful. She was like an angel sent from heaven.

Just then, Danny started crying because Laura loved Carmilla and not her which she thought was hella sad, and totes not rad.

Then Perry punched her and said, “LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WHINY ASS HOE AND DANCE”

This was apparently a spell and Danny was stuck in the fish twerking.

LaF and Perry then started rapping ‘Get Low’ by Lil Jon(?) and Madskillz and Deanykins were shocked and offended but also liked it a bit. It was a tingling sensation.

Laura also became a rapper for shits and giggs and went by the name “Lauronica Barz”.

 

**Carmilla was confused.**


	2. Fun Times With The Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some fun times with the squad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :-) We worked really hard on this chapter.

The next week, Laura and Carmilla were having sexy times in the bathroom of the anglerfish’s tummy that they built. Apparently, Anglerfishes are very roomy and sturdy. 

“O Laura” Carmilla squealed. “Your hairs are tickling my face”

“No Carmamel” Laura giggled girlishly “That's just the anglerfishes teeth lol”  
Catmilla came all over. “#Bestiality” she whispered. Laura was very turned on.

Just then, they heard a loud crash. LaF ran through the door with their 6 kids and JP and Perry followed holding tampons. They all threw them at Hollstein bcuz Permonde is better. Just kidding. Cirmalla had a minion dildo which Laura shoved up Kirsch’s ass before JP sat down and his bum swallowed the chair of the board Mingeska Belmonde., This made Perry very happy but LaF was pissed off at JP for destroying their ship. #JPArmichair5eva  
Mattie somehow possessed perry from inside her and LaF cried for like 8 years and it was sad. Then Laura piped up with 

“Um guys, i'm still naked as the day i was born just saying lol” 

Perry was in the corner shouting “Dudes i was literally the dean for like 5 seasons”  
Danny lawrence was still twerking in the living room, unfortunately the spell hadn’t worn off yet and she was getting quite tired but not too tired bc she had done zumba for years. Cramoola laughed at her often.

Laura asked her if she teased Danny everyday and she said often. 

Same.

Laura was on tumblr on her moboobly device and was looking at all them dank memes.   
Then she saw a BOOBIE on the tumblr and Carmildred got soggy. Though that might have been the anglerfish stomach acid. We’ll never know. Or the excess from the minion dildo which was named “Dank Dave” 

Jay-pee dawg wanted to know why it was called Dank Dave but no one cares. Danny “accidentally” murdered Mel by twerking on her face and she suffocated. Sad times. V sad.  
The Dean was crying because her Toyboy Vordie snuffed it. Carbonilla was sad because she wasn't getting any from Lerarh Hurldis and that made her eyes cry, not just her vagina. Vampires don't cry. Except from there. Carmilla used her seduction eyes on Lawra and then hopped on that dick.   
Laura was happy and snorted in delight. Then LeaF was still there and their eyeballs bled. It wasn’t a fun sight. Danny was still trying to stop twerking and consequently twerking stronger, better, faster, longer. Then Carmouldypops opened Spotify on her phone and played Spooky Scary Skeletons.Along with a condom advert. LiF and PeriPeri started whipping and nae naeing to it. 

“DO THE STANKY LEG” Screamed Pissy as they danced. Lautitra and Clittykatmilla joined in and did the macarena aggresively. Danny was still twerking, this meant that her milkshake she’d made went everywhere and there were no boys in the yard. Not even Kirsch. He was too busy crying over “not-william” swallowing the armchair with his anus.   
Prissy then screamed because all their children turned into spiders and attacked LaFrackstain who beat them with science. Lurgy Hellpiss was confused and realised Carmacaroni was still hopped on that dick. They ignored that fact and awkwardly mocked Danny’s Twerking. Then Carrokmilta came in Lauronicollar’s TARDIS mug. Perranties then accidentally drank from it and cried for 385 years after. 

Meanwhile Mattie was still up RangeRover’s bum sat on the armchair having a bacon sandwich. Apparently he had an entire house shoved up there. Roomy. An estate agent might value it at 70,000 knuts. Or alternatively about 3 roubles because there’s #PeskyHomosexuals in this and it will piss off Russia. Putin then was still crying because of drinking from the Tardis mug and LuF consoled her and gave her Dank Dave to help her forget her problems. Then she was like

“Thanks LeFrankdrain, but guess what” 

LsD then replied

“what lol r u the dean lololol like that would happen”

LaLa Percy was not impressed. 

Cirmacarena was Confused.


	3. You Are The Music In Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lawstein Chapter because let’s face it we had to write one it wasn’t even optional (hollence is next bitches and you know it) (there is no choice) (like none) (warning - may contain slight traces of hollstein) (for Hollence shippers like me that's like a nut allergy cause yall ARE ALL UP IN OUR FUCKING TAG ON A03 FUCK OFF FUCKITY BYE) (NOT EVEN PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ANYMORE) (also not suitable for children under 36 months due to small parts that may be a choking hazard) (lIKE CARMILLA’S DICK) (CAUSE ITS TINY #FUCK YEAH HOLLENCE AND IT'S CALLED TONY YES) (TONY THE TINY GIRLPEEN)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again we tried really hard with this and a lot of effort went into it aLSO FOLLOW US ON TUMBLR AT http://wanderingsoulsfic.tumblr.com/ AND STUFF BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE COOL ALSO TELL UR WIFE TELL UR KIDS TELL UR GRANDMA TELL UR FRIENDS OKAY AWESOME BYE

It soon became clear over passing time that the twerking spell was so much more than just a twerking curse. Danny had been twerking for around 3 consecutive weeks now, but still was not too tired due to the years of zumba she endured. The summer society was serious business. But as a general rule, they didn't tend to dance much.

“I don’t dance” sobbed Danny as she was finally starting to get kinda bored with the whole twerking shit. 

“I say you can” muttered Cumilla from beside her. She’d been getting a little clingy lately which scared Danny and made lil Laurakins jealous. 

“Look, there's not a chance you’d be around me usually so what in the heckity is going on with you u lil shit” 

“bASICALLY YOU HAVE A REALLY GREAT ASS FROM TWERKING AND I HAD TO RESTRAIN MATTIE FROM BITING YOU SINCE SHE ESCAPED JAY-PEEZ ANUS AND NOW I REALLY WANNA BITE U BC THATS A VAMPY CURSE LOL OOPS MY MOUTH SLIPPED” she yelled as she “accidentally” bit Danny and turned her lol  
Danny didn’t even mind but she could’ve like bought her dinner first or something. Yeah. Fucking hell Chinchilla Windscreen. You’d think a fuckin 300 year old Vamp would have more game. And manners. Just then, Carmzilla’s microscopic girlfriend Gamora walked by and screamed in both pleasure and fright (Pleasure because she slipped and fell on dank dave) at the sight of vampy Danny. She was scared and then got jealous. 

“You know, it's funny when you find yourself, looking from the outside. I'm standing here but all i want, is to be over there!”   
Creamtea then looked over and saw Laura stood outside the window in the garden glaring at them from outside and ranting to herself and told her to come in rather than being dramatic because the door was open aS FUCKING USUAL. 

Loo-roll didn’t even knock. Hypocrite. 

“wtf is wrong with u lol its not like deanykins did it and at least shes not twerkin now” sighed Windmilla. 

“ye shes right for once” agreed Fanny Hollence. OTP. Just then, before Lauronica Barz could respond, Perringles and LaD strutted in and started a catwalk. 

“I WANT FABULOUS, THAT IS MY SIMPLE REQUEST” Yelled ArMpitstain

“ALL THINGS FABULOUS, THE DEAN WILL NEVER REST” Continued Mary Perry. LeakingDrain looked at her with an exasperated expression, They started to cry and Periñata felt kinda bad. 

“Whats wrong?” She asked them, with a kinda dean like edge to her voice. Gee. Wonder why that was. 

“Get your head in the game Care-Perr!” They yelled through tears. 

‘Oh shit’ Thought the dean i mean Perry hahahaaha amirite ladies ‘This is not what i want, this is not what i planned, and i just gotta say, i do not understand?!’

Deanwhile, fUCK i mean meanwhile, Laurasaurus, Carmfrilla and Granny Lowrinse were watching the whole debacle

“Something is really…” started Laurizzle

“Somethings not right…” continued Flanny

“Really wrong…” Finished Crumilda. They just couldn’t figure out what was wrong. So they decided to continue the random threesome they started whilst LesRowingboat were arguing. 

There were a lot of orifices involved and as time went by, they could feel the orgasm approaching.

“Can you feel it building? Like a wave the ocean just can’t control” Cruella said to them in a husky voice (Literally, she learnt dog in 1709 and so therefore sort of barked at them) while she was in a rather precarious position along with the other two. Sometimes Laura got lost because she was too small compared to Danny and i think she broke a few bones by accident because like super strength vampires though??? but oh well.   
When IT happened, they noticed Perry and LaSelfiegame staring at them. They just couldn’t believe the three could be so rude as to be distracted from their catwalk. Even though they did themselves. 

Suddenly Laura's mum appeared again, apparently she never actually left after singing “Smell yo dick” back in chapter one. She was just hiding from Laura again for shits n gigs. Also she was a little scared of the whole threat of bear spray. Which Laura accidentally had used as deodorant one day when she was a lil sleepy. (Yo okay someone write that as an actual fic please)

Laura stormed over to her mother angrily and screamed “WHAT THE FUCKING HELL YOU FUCKING SHIT FACED BITCH I THOUGHT U LEFT AGAIN”   
Her mother laughed and was like “lol but i'm here now forever” Just as she finished that sentence, Custardcreamilla’s moobly device started ringing. 

“ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ fᵘͨᵏ ʸºᵘ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ʷʰʸ ʸºᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐ ºʰ ᵐʸ ᵍºᵈ ˢᵗºp fᵘͨᵏ'ⁿ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ” Her ringtone was perhaps not the most appropriate for the situation since Fedora started crying and her mum ran away. Again. 

“For fucks sake Loora this is why we can’t have nice things” Muttered Perry who went off to clean something. Probably Dank Dave who was still on the floor outside. LaLa (Po) followed her. They were kinda bored of seeing Laura crying. 

“Now I know you're not a fairy tale and dreams were meant for sleeping, and wishes on a star, just don't come true” Lois Laurane was very sad. But then she got over it when Carmilky-eh got pushed out of the window by Daddy Lawstein because she accidentally stood on her foot. 

“Did you just push my fucking bae out of a window Txena?!” (U pronounce that like tina btw) demanded Lilra Holdpiss. 

“Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it” Replied Danny.

Meanwhile Perranha and LifT were kinda pissed at Carm because she fell on them when she landed out of the window. Carmacarena was slightly injured because Dank Dave got stabbed into her tit. 

And she was confused.

**Author's Note:**

> we hope you liked it! we're really proud of it, it might our best work yet, stay tuned for more! please let us know what you think and thank you!!


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